Build. Play. Challenge.

Do you remember as a kid playing all the time. Having your imagination firing 24-7. Having all the energy in the world and almost no fear. Then *smack!* It was all gone. So what happened?

The ideas that society has on us came in and our world came crashing down. So now what do we do?

Build. I remember building castles out of boxes and newspaper. Of creating a world where dragon's lived and no one ever died. So what is the difference today then when I was 7? Well first off I am an adult with college, work, bills, and a 8 month old. So why even care about make believe. Building and Creating a world to have fun is something that I've done a lot. I read books that are not real and I watch tv shows that are not "reality". I do not use my imagination to watch tv or read books. So everyday I need to have a moment to build my creativity, no matter what media it is in.

Play. Now with what I have created it's time to play with it and see what comes out of it. I personally find that playing with art is my favorite media to play with at the moment. To mix colors together to see what I can create. Currently I enjoy forming newspaper on to the pieces of canvas to create these beautiful textures. Also I am playing with ideas for stories that are floating around in my head. Who knows what they will become.

Challenge. Here comes the hardest part. To not let go on the building and playing of the creative side of me while living life and staying in recovery from my depression. Which these days seems to be the harshest. To actually spend the time with my art when all I truly want to do is sleep or not do anything. So I have been carrying around my sketchbooks and starting to create and build again. Letting go of other things and trusting that taking care of me first is the best and only policy. Cause if I am not taken care of, I can not help anyone else.

Old Friend

Here is my adventure of letting go of my last drug vice, smoking cigarettes.

What came about for this turn of events was my husband for months has told me that we should quit smoking. Now I truly feel that I am not ready to let go of this vice. I love my nicotine and the sensation every time I lite a cigarette. However the night before I quit my husband looked at me and said “Hun we need to quit smoking.” I quickly replied that I did not want to and I was not ready. Then he said the most profound thing, which he has said before but this time it stuck, “If you wait till you are ready then you will never quit.” So I looked at him and said that once I finished the pack that I had I would quit. Now as I typing this message my last cigarette was 17 hours ago. All I have done today is woke up and gone to work. Things are rattling through my head of how I could smoke just one. I want one so badly. But honestly if I have that one then I will end up buying another pack when I get paid tomorrow. I have to COMMITT to the fact that I am a non-smoker. Why would a non-smoker want to smoke a cigarette? I’ve gone almost a complete day without one, and I am wearing a patch on top of that. So no. I do not need a cigarette. I am a non-smoker who is working towards living a healthier lifestyle.

I have it planned that when I get home I’ll ask my friend for one. Instead if she is there I am going to see if she wants to go on a walk with me and leave the smokes at the house. I will walk. I am a non-smoker. I have a mental obsession to smoke. My body does not need to smoke. It is God’s temple and I am destroying God’s temple by taking in that smoke every time. So good-bye old friend. Your services are no longer needed in my life. 

I'm Waking Up

If you haven't had a chance yet. Please check out Imagine Dragons song "Radioactive". Here is a link to a live youtube video of it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ybirL3EtMb8&list=PLmK93-G4aQJIdJWe5E-wmyjkzSe2PS1Ga Now I am not the biggest fan of live versions of songs but this is one of the best ones I have listened to.

This brings me back to the title of today's post. "I'm waking up, I feel it in my bones, Enough to make my system blow, Welcome to the New Age." -Radioactive
Words that have been taken into my soul and have rocketed me into a new level of gratitude and hope.

I am waking up. From this slumber of going with the flow of what I thought the world wanted from me.

I feel it in my bones. I am a beautiful sexy women of the universe today. I have value and worth. My life and being has depth and weight, on a level that I did not see before.

Enough to make my systems blow Hello Mercury Retrograde! let's use this time to go within and find what makes me truly tick and throw away all of the things that do not help my spiritual path.

Welcome to the New Age Whether anyone wants to recognize it or not we are in a time here spirituality, not religion is sought after. we are in a new age, a new coming, a Spiritual Revolution.

"I raise my flags, don my clothes. It's a revolution, I suppose. We're painted red to fit right in."

Let's see what the days brings us then? Like it seep into your bones, to know and understand that it's time to let go and let a new age come into existence. What are you doing for your life and happiness today.
Are you working to make money to pay the bills and let the job and money run your life?
Are you in an healthy relationship that is destructive to your self and well being?
Is this world to go walk on blind faith that the universe itself knows what is better for us then our finite minds can? More importantly I must ask myself today, I am ready to walk on blind faith and trust that I will be ok not living in self for this day.

Peace and Blessings to You